Take Care of You

ByApril Eckwielen


In this month of hearts and love, we need to remember to take some time for ourselves. Self-care is not being selfish. How can we be fully present for others if we do not take time to love and nurture our own well being?

Daily life can be hectic, and we can often forget to do the little things for ourselves that make us happy and renew our spirit. We feel guilty if we take “me time,” and feel like we shouldn’t focus on ourselves but make sure everyone else around us is taken care of and happy. That mindset needs to change, and can be done in simple ways.

• Schedule time for yourself. Make it an appointment in your calendar, just as you would with a work meeting or doctor appointment. Just as you would have the consequence of upsetting your boss if you didn’t show up for a meeting, or get charged a cancellation fee for a missed appointment with your doctor, make sure that you keep these appointments with yourself sacred and do not change them just because.
• Experience something that makes you happy everyday. This can be treating yourself to your favorite meal, taking a walk in your neighborhood, wearing a special outfit, playing your favorite music on your commute, reading a chapter of your book or even taking five minutes to close your eyes and just be.
• Set boundaries. Turn your phone on silent, let others know that you are taking this time for yourself which will also benefit them as well. 
• It’s ok to say no. Many of us have a hard time with this. We feel guilty if we do not say yes, and this can have an impact on our self-care. We don’t need to say yes all of the time. If others get upset with your decision, then they may not be the right kind of people to include in your tribe. Your time is part of your self-care and you do not want to give it away out of guilt.

Taking the time to show yourself a little love by honoring your self-care rituals can have an amazing affect on your life. Once you start taking the time for yourself, you will see how much more relaxed you become, and how you are, in turn, more available for others. Life is all about balance, and we need to remember to add ourselves into that equation.

My Relationship with Myself

By April Eckwielen

Our lives are full of relationships. Whether it be with family, lovers, friends, coworkers and everyone or thing in between, we create relationships that either lift us up or tear us down. We put effort into these relationships, praising the ones that make us grow and getting rid of the ones that are toxic. However, there is one relationship that some have a constant struggle with: our relationship with our self.

I am sure I am not the only one who has a version of the “I love me/I hate me” days. There are days where you feel on top of the world. You are happy and love life and those around you. Then there are days where nothing goes right, you feel and think you look horrible and you just want to curl up in a ball and hide. It is a constant love/hate relationship with yourself. I’ve been there, done that and have several of the t-shirts to prove it.

I have my days where I beat myself up, and have so much negative chatter going on inside my head I can’t even think straight. Nothing seems to work and I continue to self sabotage. My yoga practice, meditation practice and external relationship suffer when I let my ego get the best of me and let it fill my head with negativity. I know that it is not beneficial for me to have this type of relationship with myself. Would I allow a friend, spouse or family member to talk to me the way I talk to myself? Would I allow them to stay in my life when I know that they are doing nothing for my greater good? The answer is a simple. No, I wouldn’t. I would and I have cut ties with people that have treated me wrong, and who have tried to let their negativity spread into my life. Of course it was difficult to let go of those relationships, but I did it without looking back, and I have never regretted it. So why do I and so many others have a hard time breaking up with our negative relationship with ourselves? That answer is because we cannot get out of our own heads and put a permanent mute button over the ego that controls those thoughts.

We spend so much time cultivating other relationships we think are important but forgot the most important one of all, the relationship we have with ourselves. Self-love and acceptance is a struggle and depending on what things you are struggling with, it can feel like a never ending battle.

We need to learn (myself included) to love ourselves just as much as we love others. We need to let go of the things we tell ourselves that are not for our greater good.

We need to break up with our negative self, and cultivate a loving and nurturing relationship with our true and awesome self. I am not saying that this will be easy. I am not saying that you will not have times that ego will rear its ugly head and try to get you back into that downward spiral of negativity. I will say that once you break up with that negative self and move on, you will notice just how wonderful and at peace you will become. Starting now, take baby steps. Set an intention each day to love yourself. Write down your intention in a journal or calendar. If you start to hear those negative thoughts, remember your intention for the day and let it remove those negative thoughts from your mind. Carry or wear a rose quartz to remind you to love yourself. Try to fill your day with things that nurture you and make you happy. These little things can help you become more aware of how truly wonderful and worthy you are to love yourself.

Breaking up is hard to do. Sit, meditate, journal or pray over how you want to break up with your negative self. Then, with intention, let the relationship go. Be kind and patient with yourself and watch how you blossom.