Cutting Cords

By April Eckwielen

I hang onto things. Whether they are material items or emotional baggage, I tend to hang on to them longer than I should. The material things, like old clothes, books and that ugly souvenir mug I bought on a high school trip, will eventually end up in the donate pile. However, the emotional stuff tends to hang around longer than it should. It plays over and over in my head, like a bad song on repeat, causing me to over think and believe that what I am thinking is true.

My weakness is people’s thoughts about me. I have always been a people pleaser and can’t stand conflict. I would always do everything in my power to make others happy, even if it meant stomping on my own happiness. Over the years, I became very critical of myself and would constantly focus on any negative thing someone would say to me or about me. It was like a huge weight, always pressing down on me. I would have my a-ha moments and be able to shake it off for a while, but something would always happen and my power would be lost to the words or actions of others. 

This summer the something happened. Conflict reared its ugly head and I found myself getting pummelled from every direction. At one point I was being told I was a fake, no one wants me around, my family hates me and I was a fat pig who needed to put the cupcake down. Then if that wasn’t enough, I was told I was never well liked and I was the cause of all the relationship strain in my family. I felt as if someone had just pulled my heart right out of my chest and then punched me in the stomach. I kept going over what happened in my head and started to believe what I was told was truth. I gave my power away to someone else's words and their thoughts about me. I was hanging on to the baggage.

These feeling and thoughts swirling around in my head about what had happened weren’t doing me any good. I couldn’t change what was said or the person who said them, but what I could do was change how it affected me. It was time to cut the cords of the negativity that was thrown my way and focus on what I knew was true. I meditated on what was said. I focused on clearing the negativity from my head, as well as healing my heart. I imagined my breath spiraling around the negative thoughts, grabbing hold of them and releasing them from me with each exhale. I created a barrier between myself and the negative words and released them. I owned the fact that they no longer had power over my thoughts and feelings about myself. They were someone else's thoughts and words and they could deal with them on their own. I was no longer a prisoner. I went to my journal to write out what I was feeling and again cut the cords that bound me to the negativity. While journaling, I let myself get everything out onto the paper, not censoring anything. It was freeing to let everything go.

Cutting cords from an experience, thought or person can be quite difficult. It is a process because we have all of these old belief structures that have been built up throughout our lives that we tend to think we still need because that is all we know. This is not the case! Those old beliefs aren’t doing your life any good and the longer you hang onto them, the worse you will feel. By cutting those cords, the things which tie you to those beliefs, you can be free to live your life the way you want to. The time is now. Release yourself from the cords that bind you to what is not serving you. Make the commitment to break the cycle and find your happiness again.